As the greatest holiday known to earth quickly approaches, I have begun to wonder whether we all need to watch The Grinch one more time. I have seen countless posts complaining about the busyness of the season and the stress of completing our Christmas shopping. For too many adults Christmas has become another box on our to-do list; another chore for us to complain about, procrastinate, and complete last minute. Everyday we become more focused on the growing shopping list and calendar full of obligations and events. We become so intent on getting and giving the best gifts. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget to enjoy what this season is really about.
So what is Christmas really about?
To me, Christmas is about Magic. Christmas is about Faith. Christmas is about believing in something BIGGER than yourself, whether that be Jesus Christ or Santa Claus. Christmas is about tradition, family, and community. Its about creating memories and showing gratitude to those that we love and those that have impacted us throughout the year. It’s about honoring and remembering our loved ones. Its about appreciation of the little things and the big things. Appreciation that we can live our lives true to ourselves and know forgiveness is always received. It is a season of rest and rejuvenation. Its about creating time and space to focus on connecting with ourselves and with others; building relationships. Its a season of self-reflection. A chance to re-evaluate your direction, your purpose, your role. Are you part of the Inn crowd or are you one of the stable few? It is a season of hope, a season where dreams can come true and often do
I think the key to creating a perfect Christmas is a magical mindset. Look at life through a new lens where every opportunity is seen as a blessing meant for you to celebrate. Commit to the season and all it has to offer including all the free holiday events in your area. My grandma used to take me to the Dickens Christmas Festival every year where we would visit with Santa, participate in the community caroling, watch the light parade, and drink hot cocoa. We would take a hayride and see all of the lights displayed throughout downtown Mount Pleasant. I’ve probably been to the festival every year of my life but it’s an entirely new and exciting experience bringing my daughter to it, continuing a tradition that meant so much to me as a kid. I can see the light in her eyes as she feels the Christmas Magic too. We tried a new event this year called “Soup with Santa” where Arya got to create crafts, play games, see Santa, eat, and be merry! My favorite moment of any given day is when Arya tells me “I had a good day momma” or “I had fun momma” or “I love you so much momma”; all of which where heard after our nights out celebrating Christmas.
I think part of the reason Christmas has become a season of complaining and anxiety is because we feel so much pressure to DO IT ALL. We can’t just have a cute Christmas card, we have to have matching pajamas. We can’t just have comfort food, we have to have a gourmet meal. We can’t JUST have sugar cookies, we have to have chocolate covered pretzels as well. You catch my drift? We put too much on our plates. The pressure forces us to think that what we are doing is not enough, shame follows and cripples our ability to spread joy and excitement. Parenting is a lot of thinking we’re not good enough, thinking we’re not doing enough. However, some of my favorite memories from childhood are just small traditions such as picking out and cutting down the tree. I used to love running through the tree field, miles ahead of my family intent on finding the PERFECT tree. I didn’t mind that by the end my fingers were frozen and I had scratches all over from the Blue Spruce (My grandma’s favorite). It was always an adventure. It was a family ritual that I held so dear to my heart my whole life that I cried when my grandma broke down and bought a fake tree (I was 20 years old). While I was at first inconsolable, I now relish in my ability to put on lights without looking like I got in a bad fight with an alley cat. Someday when we are no longer renting, my little family will get a real tree too. These tiny magical moments might not seem like a lot in comparison to what you see on some peoples Instagram feeds, but they are enough, they are exactly what it takes to create long-lasting Christmas traditions.
Decorating the tree when I was little was always an exciting experience. It seemed like my grandma had a story behind every single ornament. Some were given by family members who passed away, some by old college roommates and coworkers. I would listen in awe as she told me how her most precious ornaments were over 20 years old (20 years sounds like forever when you’re 8). I would get excited when I would find one that had my name on it, usually with a year or a small inscription from whoever gifted it to me. I dreamed of having a large collection of ornaments so special and unique. Now that I’m an adult and lack storage space, I’m grateful my collection isn’t QUITE that large. Lately, I’ve noticed a new trend of themed Christmas tree’s and I’ve got to be honest they are NOT for me. It forces you to choose between white or colored lights (The trick to the most beautiful tree ever is to use both) and limits your ornament buying abilities. Decorating the Christmas tree was such an important and intimate experience I was grateful that when I left the house and began a family, I had a box full of personal ornaments to start my tree with that held real sentimental value. Some date all the way back to the year I was born. As I decorated the tree with my family this year, I was able to tell the stories of my ornaments to Arya. I showed her which ornaments were hers, and who she received them from just like my grandma did with me. She placed them on the tree with so much pride. She’s only three so she’s pretty egocentric aka she’s THRILLED when things belong to her and only her. She’s also a natural born collector of special things (just like her momma) which makes the ornament tradition even more fun. It will mean so much to me to be able to continue the tradition and give her a box of beautiful personal ornaments to start her own tree some day.
A few other magical Christmas moments that have stuck with me and inspired my Christmas spirit throughout the year include making craft ornaments, decorating the house, putting up the Christmas village, baking cookies, watching Christmas movies, drinking hot cocoa, and late night drive-by’s to check out the lights with my grandma. She was the magic in my Christmas as a child. She had a knack for creating positive experiences out of everything. She made me see the beauty in the first winter snow. She made me see the beauty in imperfect Christmas trees. She made me see the beauty in giving a gift without wanting in return. Whether it was extra sprinkles on my cookies, or inviting all my friends back to her house for impromptu sleepovers after the Christmas festival; she never failed to make me feel special and loved. She reminds me constantly that I had much to be grateful for, that these little magic moments would always outweigh the bad. She made me believe that I was deserving of every Christmas joy. She taught me Christmas was not about toys, gifts, or parties. Christmas was about spending time with your family, appreciating and connecting with the people you love. Sometimes that makes this time of the year difficult for people and I understand. We don’t all have a family to connect with, some of us are grieving, and some of us have few magical memories from childhood to look back on. I challenge you to just close your eyes and imagine how you envisioned Christmas time as a child, whether or not that was your reality. I challenge you to envision what you wish Christmas time looked and felt like right now as an adult. What parts of Christmas did you/do you just hate? Cut them out. What parts of Christmas drained your energy? Cut that out as well. What parts of Christmas made your heart feel full? Create more of that.
Every single day we are blessed with beautiful, magical moments that often go unnoticed. Christmas is about noticing. Noticing the magic. Appreciating the magic. Restoring the magic. Being the magic. Believing in the magic. A little magic can take you a long way.
Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, its Christmas.
Dale Evans