I honestly can’t believe little Baby Boy Johnson is going to arrive within the next month. As excited as I am, I’m also already feeling anxious about the postpartum period, which was very hard on me last time. I’m praying for an easier transition both physically and emotionally but I’m also attempting to be prepared for the worst.
So as uncomfortable as it may be (boundaries are hard), I’ve got to just put this out there because last pregnancy and birth I was not good at setting boundaries and had a lot of things transpire that I wish I could have avoided. I hope my friends and family understand that pregnancy and the postpartum period is extremely hard on moms and we need time to recuperate without the circus of constant visitors.
Here are some basic ground rules (more may be added as I see fit):
- Do not assume I’m comfortable with you coming to meet baby in the first few weeks or even months. We are literally still in the middle of a global pandemic on top of it being just a really exhausting period of time in general.
- Do not attempt to visit if you are unvaccinated. Unvaccinated are almost 3 times as likely to catch COVID-19. Do not assume just because you are vaccinated that I am comfortable with you coming to visit either. Some of you still attend large events, mask-less, assuming your vaccination status magically protects you. That’s just not true. You can still catch COVID-19 if you are vaccinated and our current recommendations for locations with high COVID transmission rates (ALL OF MICHIGAN), is to be masked in all indoor settings and large outdoor settings. Just an FYI.
- Do not attempt to visit without a mask on. Not only is COVID running rampant but so is RSV and other illnesses that can be deadly for young infants.
- DO NOT DO NOT DO NOOOOOOT show up to my house unannounced or without asking/giving a heads up. I will simply not let you in. I had this happen often with Arya, and even had people strong arm their way in when I tried to say no and it caused severe anxiety for me. Seriously, it’s 2021 we don’t just stop in anymore. I will refuse to let you in. I don’t care who you are or if that seems rude, it’s rude to just show up.
- Do not get butt hurt if you ask to come over and I say it’s not a good time.
- Do not expect me to be open to company on short notice. I’m sorry that you’re in town just today but I’m allowed to determine when I feel comfortable to have company.
- I shouldn’t even have to say this, but don’t kiss my baby.
- Wash your hands before handling baby or any baby items.
- Do not come over if you have ANY symptoms of sickness. Do not try and lie and say its just allergies or just a runny nose. Just don’t come over. PLEASE.
- Bring food. It’s the sweetest and most kind thing you can do for a family with a newborn. My favorite visit after Arya was a friend who so thoughtfully ordered our favorite meals from a local restaurant, brought them over, stayed a short time, and left.
- Keep your visits short. We love seeing everyone but honestly it’s hard to attempt to entertain when you’re sleep deprived.
- Ask questions about how WE are doing, not just the baby.
- Do not post pictures of my baby without permission. I swear some people want to come over just to get a picture with the baby. Please ask before you post.
- Don’t judge the state of my home. The floors may be un-swept, the dishes may be piling up, and there might be baby items strewn everywhere. I’m focusing on much more important things at this time. If anything, go ahead and take a crack at my dishes. 😉
- Do not give unsolicited advice. If I want advice, I will ask. Moral support is always welcome, however.
- Please don’t get mad if I don’t text back. The first few weeks with a newborn are very overwhelming and it’s just not a priority to respond to everyone.
I hope this didn’t come off too harsh, and I guess even if it did sorry not sorry.
I deserve to feel safe and comfortable in my own home as I welcome my baby into this world.
My family deserves privacy and support without “owing” anyone a visit with the baby. People (family included) often feel so entitled to meet a baby right when they are born and it can bring extra and un-needed stress onto mom and baby as she heals and manages postpartum difficulties. I love you all, I truly do and I appreciate all of your support and excitement as we become a family of four. It’s truly nothing personal, it’s just necessary for my personal well-being and my babies health and safety. Please respect my rules and my decisions.