3 Worst Potty Training Experiences

This is not a post for people looking for potty training hacks, tricks, mistakes, or advice. Potty training has been one of the most difficult experiences on my parenthood journey. Anyone that has ever met my daughter knows that Arya is an extremely bright, intelligent, and resourceful toddler. She showed all the “signs” experts warn you to look for and I could feel the pressure from outside forces telling me how early they had managed to potty train and that it was vital to potty train by two. We went all in and she had the cute Minnie Mouse potty and princess panties and her mommy had a strong-willed determination to “make it happen”. She went on the potty one glorious time leading up to months of agony for me over unrealistic and unmet expectations and few and far between potty miracles. “I know you can do it baby you’ve done it before”. It seemed like the harder I worked at it and the more time I spent on it, the harder she pushed pack. Eventually she had no interest in using the potty. We remained as consistent as possible but still followed her lead. I’m not one for wrestling a toddler on to a toilet and I’ve always believed that when a child is ready to reach a developmental milestone it will happen.

We are now three days with no accidents and about a week and half with no pull-ups at all. Every single time she gets up and screams at me to “come look” I am just as excited as I was the first time. We jump up and down singing “Monkey goes pee pee on the potty!!!!” and she absolutely loves it. Lately, she’s been going on the potty without a reminder. It’s as if she woke up one morning and it all clicked. It makes me proud that I remained consistent and never gave up or discouraged her from trying. It truly was one of the most frustrating processes I have ever had to endure. You can’t have rainbows without a little rain however. Here are some of the not so great memories I’ll never be able to forget (No matter how much I wish I could).

1. Clean up in Aisle 3

Imagine this: You enter a bustling Meijer and half wrestle half reason your toddler into the seat in the grocery cart, and begin to endure an entire grocery trip making sure to stop by the lobsters, fish and toys on your way through. You’ve filled your cart and walk to the front. Of course its a madhouse. You find what you hope to be a quick lane but of course ends up having an issue with the cash drawer. You’re sandwiched between two carts and can’t leave. You look down. There’s a large yellow puddle forming. You start to panic, you glance down at your toddler crying that she can’t have candy and realize that she’s also decided to pee her pants. You can’t leave your groceries, you can’t leave the puddle, and you can’t leave your crying toddler in her pee pants. This is when my quarter-life crisis truly began.

2. An accident a day keeps the doctors away? Is that what they say?

Arya has struggled a little bit this year with her health, in particular her ears. She was in the waiting room for a follow up appointment for a double ear infection and we were reading some of the books they had in the children’s area. I asked her if she had to go potty. She adamantly says no. We continue reading for a few minutes. Arya stands up to get a new book and just starts to let it loose. She had probably been holding it all morning, she filled up the whole area over there with pee. GREAT. I try to remain as calm, consistent and supportive as I can as I attempt to clean up the immediate area and damage. I send Richard on a trip to the front for hopefully some paper towels. He comes back with 4 towels. I try to take a deep breath and count to four and practice what I preach but I could feel my frustration bubbling to the surface. I had JUST asked her if she had to go, and I knew that developmentally it was normal for her not to answer honestly but I was frustrated nonetheless. I did my best with the four towels and then made another journey to the front desk for a more extensive clean up kit. We changed Arya and she had to walk around with no shoes on through the doctors office proudly announcing to all the nurses “I had an accident. Its okay. Accidents happen.”.

3. IHOP: International House of Pee

Taking a toddler out to eat is always a gamble and a risk. Will she remain seated long enough for me to scarf my food? Will she start screaming and crying because I won’t let her have ketchup for dinner? Arya is fiercely independent and everything has to be her idea. She’s a sweet but also stubborn little girl and she can make or break an outing. We risked it at our local IHOP mostly because I work there and get a discount (HOLLA). We ordered our food and she’s doing well, enjoying watching all the busy commotion and the special attention shes getting from my coworkers. She says she has to go potty a couple times (Mostly because she likes to use it as an excuse to walk the restaurant) and we try to use the bathroom. No action. We go back to our seat and our food has arrived. Perfect timing and we’re doing well so far. She begins to eat her pancakes, singing as she eats and we actually get a chance to eat at the same time, which as parents of toddlers we rarely manage to do. She finishes first and her attention begins to waver. She asks to come sit by her mommy and I allow it. We begin coloring on the sheet and I feel something wet on my leg. I take two seconds to collect my calm and try and keep my cool mom voice on. She’s peeing all over the booth and a little on me. I’m mortified. I was just bragging to my coworkers about how she was wearing big girl panties and karma had come to strike back. We go through our spiel “It’s okay to have an accident. It’s important you tell me next time you feel like you have to pee. Now let’s clean up.” I’m truly grateful it was a restaurant I worked at so I could handle most of the clean up myself. We go home. It’s nap time. She cries. I cry. She naps. I nap. We feel better.

As Arya continues to thrive using the bathroom and wearing big girl undies, I am grateful for the journey that took us here and for the ability to look back on these times of stress and frustration and smile now. She looks up with such pride when she tells me that she’s gone on the potty and she always has to call Grandma to let her know! It’s really funny watching your two year old Facetime your not a day over fifty five grandma to tell her she pooped on the potty. If I could give one piece of advice to mom’s struggling with potty training it would be to lower your expectations. There is so much pressure on us moms to make sure we potty train by a certain time in a certain way. In my experience, the only one that was able to truly decide it was time to start using the potty was Arya. All I could do was encourage her to want to start the process and to show her how. When your child is graduating high school or getting their first job, its really not going to matter if they were potty trained by two or by three. Take your time and take a breath. Do your best. Its a tough job we’ve got but we’re the best one’s to do it. Fingers crosses our potty break through continues and best of luck to all of the mom’s out their going through the potty struggles. You’ve got this.

Have a funny or frustrating potty training story you’d like to share? Leave a comment! 🙂