One of the most common questions you usually will get asked when first meeting someone is “What do you do for a living?” and I’ve always hated this question for a couple reasons. While the questioning might seem harmless, it perpetuates a dangerous habit: The tendency to associate who we are with what we do. Why does it matter what we do? Are you truly learning much about who I am as an individual by learning who signs my paychecks? I know people are trying to make conversation but it’s an elitist form of conversation in my opinion. When I used to reply that I was a server at a local IHOP, I would frequently get asked if I had plans to go on to college (I was currently in college or had already graduated) or if I knew what I wanted to do “when I grew up” (Helloooo I’m grown as shit over here). It was almost as if the answer I had just given them wasn’t good enough. Somehow me being a server and not a rocket scientist made me less of a person. When I was a preschool teacher, I would frequently get asked “Oh so you like tie shoes and teach ABCs for a living?” and commonly answered queries about my education. It was almost as if the profession of teaching a classroom full of children under 5 years old with minimal emotional regulation abilities required no skills in their eyes.. Now that I’m a Child Abuse Prevention and Education Specialist I just get a lot of confused looks and questions regarding my duties and my agency. Asking someone what they do for a living is a judgement question. Hey you stranger I just met, please let me know what you do for a living and I can decide whether its either a) impressive enough or b) professional enough or c) significant enough.
That being said: I do get asked this question A LOT and I’m currently very excited and proud to be doing the work that I do so I will willingly share a little bit about what it means to be a Child Abuse Prevention and Education Specialist.
What is Child Abuse Prevention?
Child Abuse and Neglect are obviously very serious problems that have everlasting harmful effects. The goal in preventing child abuse and neglect is obvious: to stop the violence from ever occurring. With child abuse and neglect being such a complex issue, rooted in unhealthy relationships and environments, preventing it requires a comprehensive approach that influences all levels. How does one prevent child abuse? With the help of your community! We start by focusing on not only building a families Protective Factors using the Strengthening Families framework but also by educating the community on these protective factors and how they influence the prevention of child abuse. Only together can we prevent and eradicate child abuse and neglect. One of my biggest focus’ is building community partnerships that will result in a widespread delivery of the child abuse prevention education programs.
Strengthening Families is the most well established and broadly used protective factors approach in the field of child abuse and neglect prevention. Five Protective Factors are the foundation of the Strengthening Families framework approach:
- Enhancing parental resilience
- Providing an array of social connections
- Providing parents concrete support in times of need
- Facilitating knowledge of parenting and child development
- Supporting healthy social and emotional development in young children.
Everyone has something to contribute to a family-strengthening approach. When children are nurtured and feel safe they can grow up to be healthy, happy, and productive adults. On the flip side, when children lack an attachment to a caring safe adult, receive inconsistent nurturing or experience harsh discipline, the consequences can affect their lifelong health, well being, and relationships with others.
How do we help promote strong and thriving families?
The exciting part about working at a non-profit is that no day is ever the same. With only four of us in the office, my day to day duties are chaotic and inconsistent. When I’m not too busy running my programs, managing our social media sites, fundraising, collaborating with community members, planning and attending events, answering the phone, responding to emails, fighting with the copier, and wearing every hat known to man, you can frequently find me mopping the floors and cleaning the toilets here at our office. After years of cleaning up after people at IHOP, its essentially second nature at this point. My point being; working at a non-profit is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. (Honestly how lame was that? I’d give it 12/10) Below you can find the presentation I created and typically use at community events that briefly explains what services my agency provides for our community.
Child abuse is on the rise in Michigan and not just by a small number. The state has seen a thirty percent increase in abuse and neglect cases reported by WLNS News this April. Living in poverty can cause toxic stress, impact child development, and represent significant barriers to education and health outcomes. The 27th Annual Kids Count Databook released from Michigan League for Public Policy reported one in five Michigan children are living at or below the poverty line. Children in low socioeconomic status households are three times as likely to be identified as a victim of child abuse.
Research about the lifelong impact of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) makes it clear we need to move with a sense of urgency in providing prevention activities to protect children from trauma. When children and youth experience trauma through abuse and neglect, the effects on their well-being are costly. According to a 2012 study by Prevent Child Abuse America, the total yearly cost of each abused or neglected child in the United States is $63, 871. Adverse Childhood Experiences have been linked to risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential and early death. As the number of ACEs increases, so does the risk for these outcomes. The ACE Study and surveys that follow have shown that majority of adults in the United States have at least one adverse childhood experience, and that people with four or more ACEs have a huge risk of chronic health problems.
Parenting practices develop in response to a series of social influences ranging from social and cultural norms to policies that impact access to basic necessities such as food, shelter, warmth, and human connection. Further, there is an inter-generational pattern of positive relationships. Parents often use parenting practices that are familiar, drawing from their own experiences from their childhood. Think about the implications of that. Parents whose own early relationships were nurturing, predictable, and safe are more likely to develop similar relationships with their own and the same can be said for parents whose early relationships were harmful, unsafe, or inconsistent. As a community it’s time we say “not on my watch”. It’s time we end the cycle. It’s time we break the wheel.
Juggling the demands of work, home, school, sports, extracurricular activities and other responsibilities leaves many parents feeling like they do not have nearly enough time with the children. (TRUUU) The truth is the modern day capitalistic society does not make it easy on parents. We are overworked, under paid, and so damn tired. Most parents are barely getting by, losing their sanity one shift and diaper change at a time. Parents/Grandparents/Caregivers need help and that is totally OKAY AND NORMAL. They used to say it takes a village to raise a baby. Nowadays, our village is not a cohesive unit. Nobody is talking to anybody. We’re lacking consistent support systems. We’re disconnecting from our communities only to “connect” with them online. We’re refusing to listen to reputable advice because “its my baby, it’s my family, it’s my choice.” We’re consistently settling for raising children that turn out just “okay”. We need to come together and create a community where parent’s aren’t afraid to reach out and ask for help, a community where there are resources readily available when a family needs them, a community that focuses on the needs of our most vulnerable first. We need to build a community that fosters resilience and builds a network of interconnected systems that address the social/emotional/physical needs of all youth and families. We need a trauma-informed and responsive community that is committed to the shared vision. That’s what I’m working towards. Are you in?
To find out more about Darkness to Light: Stewards of Children click here! To sign up for one of my upcoming sessions click here!