6 On-Screen Spirit Moms

Parenting is one of life’s craziest adventures and while many have written books and articles on the subject, I’m not sure anyone is 100 % positive they’ve got this thing down.

Every child is different and every parenting style must flex with their child’s personality and development. I try and remind myself that while consistency is important, so is flexibility. I’m continuously trying to improve as a parent, and nonstop looking for new solutions to the everyday “emergencies” that come with raising a fiercely independent and vocal almost three year old. Whether its the spilling of water during a tea party, forgetting to pull her pants down before going potty, or the dreaded bed time, it takes nearly all of my mental strength and capabilities to convince Arya that I indeed know what is best for her. My point is, parenting is tough and we don’t always know what we’re doing or whether we’re doing it right. That’s okay.

As I have developed and grown as a mother, I have begun to recognize some consistent patterns in my parenting style. I like to believe I can attribute these characteristics to some on-screen Mom’s I relate to:

1. Ms. Honey

When I was very young growing up I used to wish Ms. Honey would come and swoop me away to a big house where we would have tea parties in the garden and read books. My Ms. Honey ended up being my Grandma, but I still look back to those days watching Matilda and smile. I strive to be as kind, compassionate, and nurturing as Ms. Honey. She genuinely understands kids and meets them where they are at, without expectations. She encourages the love for learning and reading, and clearly knows the importance of healthy social-emotional development for children. Whenever Arya is at her most frustrating, I try and think “What would Ms. Honey Do?” WWMHD? Usually my voice gets sweeter but my attitude doesn’t (It’s a work in progress). I have however been able to instill the love for reading and libraries without a hitch so far (unless you count Arya’s obsession with riding the elevator at the library a hitch).

2. Lorelei Gilmore

I dream of having a relationship with Arya that is half as intimate and close as Lorelei and Rory on Gilmore Girls. There is a fine line between friend and mom and while Lorelei may not ride this line perfectly, she knows how to develop a deep and everlasting bond, regardless of arguments and differences. She encourages me to ALWAYS be the fun mom. I don’t ever want to miss out on experiences with Arya or limit our adventures. It’s easy to succumb to the same day-to-day monotony but more rewarding to continuously search for excitement and the day’s next great adventure. Lorelei truly thinks the world of Rory, and never makes her feel like her dreams are too big or too small. Everything is achievable. Lorelei taught me that open communication and transparency are the keys to a healthy relationship between mother and daughter. Watching her struggle with her relationship with her mother, and then in turn try and be a mother to Rory was really inspiring. It’s hard to rewire your brain from childhood experiences but Lorelei is dedicated to having a different relationship with Rory based on mutual trust and respect. I am striving for a similar goal. People will sometimes dismiss your negative early childhood parenting experiences by saying “At least you know what not to do” but it’s not that simple. We don’t really know what not to do because when our emotions are heightened or we are under stress, we revert back to our roots, what we’ve seen modeled, not what we know to be best. I want to be better than what I’ve seen. Lorelei is my inspiration that I can indeed succeed. I want to be Arya’s first call when she has bad or good news, no fear or concerns about my reaction.

3. Lynette Scavo

While I love to imagine myself as the positive authoritative parenting style mom, I know that I am not perfect. I know that there are times I flip a switch over the household tasks and the trash not going out. I know that there are moments where I truly believe I will lose my mind if Arya doesn’t stop whining. I also know that these times intensify when I’m tired from my overwhelming work schedule. I struggle with my role as a working mother, forever feeling inadequate at both positions because I’m stretched thin between the two. Afraid to spend too much time away at work and miss out on time with my daughter that I will never get back. Afraid to spend too much time at home and be deemed unsuccessful or unable to handle my role as a working mom. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the struggles of the working mom. We’re just trying to keep it all together, and sometimes it may cause us to yell in shrill voices, demand things go our way and have messy houses. We’re not crazy, life is crazy. I never thought I’d be a Lynette, but now I say it with pride. Lynette is strong-willed, intelligent, resilient, and extremely driven. She’s one hell of a supportive mom, wife and a successful business woman.

4. Molly Weasley

Molly Weasley, Queen of Knitting Sweaters and Big Mom Hugs. She opened her heart to Harry almost right away, showing great compassion and empathy. She had 6 sons before finally getting her daughter, and my grandma would tell you from experience that that many boys in a row ain’t no joke. She is a moral compass for her family, continuously guiding them on the right path and monitoring their actions. She is unbelievably brave and hardworking and she is always making the best out of every situation. She cares deeply about the safety of her family but recognizes that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. You really can’t get much more motherly than Molly Weasley. She’s chef curry with the pot. She’s STEPH CURRY WITH THE SHOT! (Bye Bye Bellatrix)

5. Kitty Foreman

Kitty Foreman is the true head of the household in That 70’s Show. She sets the tone for the entire family dynamic. She supports her family with everything she has and she is never afraid to speak her mind. She let’s her family know when she’s feeling unappreciated or when she’s unhappy with their efforts. She sees the best in people and encourages a growth mindset, even with stubborn Red, and that’s a trait I really admire. She is very emotionally intuitive and has a huge heart but she also isn’t afraid to get real and speak some truth. She is probably the most under-appreciated mom in televised history, continuously putting in long hours at work AND taking care of the house and family needs. She may be a little naive, but her intentions are pure. She opens her heart and her home to a bunch of teenagers and supports each one individually as they emerge as adults. The biggest lesson I’ve learned from Kitty is that things will NEVER go exactly how I want them to and that is okay, it’s important to be able to laugh it off.

6. Linda Belcher

Having a baby and toddler has led me to be a little more wacky than before. I’m always singing songs, making rhymes, and being silly. Arya loves it. The more I encourage my silly side to come out, the more I can feel myself connecting with Arya. I’ve decided to embrace my Linda and I’m better for it. She is one of the most supportive moms I’ve ever seen on television, open to all of the unique quirks of her children’s personality, and never judgmental. She finds the good in every situation and inspires me to find my silver lining and smile. Life is wacky, it’s best to just roll with it. The most important thing we can do is love our family and focus on our happiness. Linda is never afraid to put her Christmas tree out the day after Halloween and neither am I!

Mom’s come in all shapes and sizes. There’s no one right way to do it. I think the most important thing you can do as a mother is work on becoming more self aware, recognizing your faults and strengths and creating small action steps to make necessary changes. A lot of parenting is modeling. Modeling how to regulate our emotions, modeling how to eat healthy, modeling how to be active, modeling how to spend our free time, modeling how to interact with nature, etc. Monkey see, Monkey do. As we become more self aware, its important that we also listen to the cues our mind and body are giving us that we need a break. I know so many mothers just struggling under the pressure to perform both at home and at work and I just want those mommies to know I feel you girl and you can do this! Find a hobby you love, an escape, a music playlist, anything that makes you feel more A L I V E and do that. Do it as often as you can. You have to take care of yourself before you can properly take care of those you love. #TRU

Do you know who would never make my list?

Leave a comment and let me know some of your on-screen spirit moms and some mom’s you just can’t stand!! 🙂